Money

I'm brooding... again.

In fact, I've been doing that a lot since I've taken over the running of this company. I can't say what is the nature of our business but what I can say is that, it will involve lots amount of money.

And that's my topic of the day.

Money.

In my experience, it has both been a blessing and a curse. A blessing because money can alleviate many financial woes. A curse because money can elevate many financial woes. 

I am often surprise of human nature when it comes to dealing with money. When they can see and calculate how much they would make, a killing mostly, then we are sure to expect a mad rush coming. They will be devoid of all decency and common sense when it comes to making tons of money; to the point they would forget about the company that needs nurturing.

For me, I see this business as giving me a job and salary. I don't need to make tons of salaries. I just need enough to get through the day. Well, I would probably buy a fancy new handphone in the market. 

But that's not my point. My point is millions is not for me personally. I would see the millions as an opportunity to create jobs and help the community. I would think on how to improve my staffs' welfare. I would think of how to ensure the longevity and stability of my company to pass on to the next generation of the family.

But millions for my own personal consumption is not for me.

I don't love money but that doesn't mean I don't respect money.

So I do respect money.

I respect money like a loaded gun.

Too bad my partner don't share the same view point as me. From my conversations with him today felt like he is unloading lots of stuff out from our company. It appears that he doesn't want to have anything to do with us in the future. I later found out that he has had conversations that the bulk of the money is to be made at the outside instead from inside the company. That he can also call the shots by moving a team of free-lancers to support our company or not. That he will be in a position to demand for increase or else he'll pull his support away.

I may not be as street-smart nor aggressive as him. 

But I'm certain that we'll prevail because of one thing;

I don't fuck with the law of nature.

I believe that I was put here where I am today by unseen forces. I never asked for it. In fact I never wanted it. 

I just want to be happy and I don't need millions to that. Sure it'll help alleviate lots of stuff but it can also elevate lots of problems that we don't need like greed, jealousy and pride. Most of the time I wish I don't have these problems but at the same time I need some of the money for my own household. So I'll just accept what is bestowed upon me and do the best I can with it.

I pray to God for wisdom in every decision-making that I have to make so that I don't lose money or make people jealous and angry.

But most of all... I pray that I won't lose my soul.