Apology

Error can claim no exemption even if it can be supported by the scriptures of the world.

-Mahatma Gandhi

Today I made a remarkable breakthrough... I made an apology!

Yeah I know what you're thinking; 'Wah to say sorry also so difficult to do?' I have to be honest and say, 'Yes, it is indeed an uneasy thing to say especially when you know you are in the wrong.'

Especially when you're 30-something... words like sorry is unheard of! In fact people take pains in covering up their mistake in order to prevent losing of face.

Anyway.

I'm currently heading an NGO project that needed to be delayed for another 2 months due to the unpredictable weather, volunteers burn-out and monetary constraints.

When I made the decision to postpone the date, I didn't communicate my decision with the chairperson of the organization because I didn't like her attitude in dealing with issues. Our members put all the blame on her leadership (or mostly her lack of) skills in dealing with the drop of members participation, no monthly board of directors meeting, no membership training and basically no nothing. So with that in mind I feel disgusted that I even had to share the same room with this person.

So I did the next sad thing... I cut her off from the loop! I made that decision with only my core group and took her out of equation. She received the news like the other members did; through SMS through the project secretary.

Naturally she got upset and started complaining to the other members on how terrible my judgement is and if I can't handle the job, well, better let someone else to do it. And she did it behind my back!

I was getting all upset myself but then I realized something.

What I had done was wrong.

Lousy character or whatever, she's still the chairperson of the organization. 

She's still the anointed leader of the organization.

She has the constitutional right to know what's happening in the organization.

Upon this realization, I picked up the phone and started calling her. I explained the reasons behind my decision and I apologized for not informing her personally.

She accepted my apology and we're cool again. And I'm still project head.

Later, upon reflection, I now realize that my time in a voluntary organization will end after I complete this project. I will be moving towards bigger responsibilities in the business world and I cannot behave how I normally do in an NGO there.

At another time and place, I would not be thinking about apologizing at all. I do what I have to do because the company's survival depends on decisions.

She is also an up and coming business person but she has not have the advantages that I possess. 

And we're in the same NGO together. If I would have pushed my weight around in the organization, I would only make matters worse and I'd be seen as a bully. Then there would be no respect for folks from all works of life because the one with the biggest gun wins.

Winner takes all, so to speak.

So that's why I apologized. I didn't want to bully nor to cover-up... it just isn't my style.

But most of all, I did it because I was wrong.

Whether I made the right decision... well I would never know but one thing I can say now is this;

I felt good after making the apology because it felt right.

But is it applicable in the business world?